On Death and Life

Death: The Facilitator of Life

It is amazing how death is built into life. And yet, we are taught to do everything we can to deny death, fight it, avoid it. Our body is built to live by dying - as we inhale, we need to exhale. As we generate new cells, old ones need to die. As we eat, so we excrete. There is no greater facilitator of life than death. It is probably the most creative force we know of: it is our inner Feminine in her most potent form.

Yet, our inner patriarch has learnt to avoid death, because it represents loss of control. So our society teaches us to not let go of relationships that are long dead, in the name of commitment (while we are led to believe the commitment is towards a person/organization, it is really towards patriarchy). We are taught to look for stability in emotions, careers, life choices at the cost of authenticity, in the name of security (and of course, we are told the security is for ourselves, whereas it is really the system that feels insecure).

The irony of this is that the cost of avoiding death is life. In trying to stick to something we no longer resonate with, we become the living dead. Of course the fear of letting go of people and things is huge - it has been built over centuries. But this fear is not personal - it is collective. And the moment we choose to individuate into our personal power and choose life over death, the fear dissipates. I wish I could say this choice is easy and comfortable; sometimes it is, sometimes it is not. But it is certainly nourishing, energizing.

And the good news is all of are born with the key to life - our body. Our thoughts and emotions can remain in the past and future and pretend to avoid death. Our body is only capable of remaining in the present. And through this presence, we can choose to die each moment, in order to really live. Isn't it a beautiful paradox?

Here's a talk on living from imminence that I had given a few months ago: